Overcoming Fear!

Sometimes you force yourself to write something, sometime you write automatically as your emotions flow, this is such a moment, where my emotions are out of my control!Pardon me for that.
I have had a privileged child hood which many would envy. I have great parents who have shaped my Everything right from my character to my dress. They have supported me in each and every instant, they were so careful such that i do not see any failure nor heart break.... Coming to rescue each and every moment i raised some alarm, from smaller things like Shaving blade to larger things like Internships. Such privileged upbringing has resulted in a weak soul devoid of any strength to face the real world!
I have always bean an idealist aspiring and aiming at higher things... Somethings that would look extra ordinary and different...I always wanted to be above my peers.. With my parents backing I believed Life was a cake walk.My biggest worries were like " How much mark would i score in this test".....Nothing else worried me as i was completely insulated.
But now when I am 22 Yrs old, and being away from my parents. I realise how weak I am... Afraid of each and everything.Afraid to face the world boldly, Afraid of failure...Afraid of shame... Afraid of peers.. Afraid of teachers... Afraid of friends..Afraid of strangers.. Afraid of competition... Afraid of Love... Afraid of emotions... Afraid of LIFE....The life i thought was never like this, I thought the life is just a simple mathematical function where if u give the right input ( hardwork etc) you will get the appropriate reward. But I am realising that Life is a function that has multiple inputs and very complex... Realising how naive I am and I have been.
Today being a holiday after a long time I wanted to self introspect myself, as i had face continuous failures for the past few days and i was terribly upset I wanted to get over those feelings. I walked up a mountain in shillong into the woods, where there was no one. Sat on a rock and drank a sprite. Started thinking... Why am i upset? Failures.. Why failures? Dont know... What is a failure? Failing to achieve whatever I desire..What is a desire? Something i aspire for!, Why do I aspire? My mind wants it.. Why does my mind want it? To satisfy itself... Yes to satisfy the so called EGO!!!... When I was just introspecting I found that some one was walking near me chattering some thing in Khasi... I got up and ran as fast as i can... I ran for around a KM. I was panting then I asked myself what happened?? Why did i run? I was AFRAID!...Why was i afraid? I feared that he may scold me.. and tell something.. Yes I was afraid of Shame, I was afraid that he would hate my EGO( which has shaped itself as a bright young guy). Then I started recollecting all fears of mine.. Why was I shivering before GD today morning? Why was i afraid to face my friends/peers today morning after the failure? Why was i afraid to talk to some one? What made me shut myself in my room away from people reading books after consecutive failures??? Yes !!!, its all Ego... I realised that Ego ( the self image of bright young student with everything) fails to accept the reality and goes into all sorts of escapism. I realised this is the reason why people often get into bad habits to escape from the reality of failure and hurting one's ego(self image). So what should i do now?? There came a small 3 year old... he was talking to me something in Khasi ,something like kamasirakatha?(who knows what he says) I just replied samatapatha... we had such a talk for sometime(for about 15 mins) without understanding each other.. I felt very happy...How did i become so happy? I was happy for doing something that was childish!, Because i had no ego when i talked to the 3 year old, I became a 3 yr old.. I just had fun....it was exciting... Ha! finally I smiled on realising the truth and finding the real culprit" The Ego"!!! the smile i had continues still while I am writing this blog..
Life is seriously fun when you think you have nothing , you are nobody and you are just a creature on Earth !!!!! You become so childish and happy that you dont even care what others think of you!

Be Selfish...Create things!

After a long time I watched a brilliant movie titled "Angadi theru"( The street of shops), there was something in the movie that made me think!. The story is primarily about the hardships faced by sales men in Garments/ready made shops. Its not the hardship they face selling the goods to the consumers but rather the ill treatment they face in the hands of the employers.No proper food, sanitation,Oh my god! I wasnt able to watch those!it was very terrible!, it was very troubling......I started wondering,Why did the Creator(God) give so much suffering to these people? I just started imagining myself in their position..... If i am in such a position, where I have to sleep in streets,eat some left overs,No No what is this life??? Who should be blamed for this? the Government?( Most people blame the government)Yes may be to some extent,but this Government has been created by people...., Is it the law of nature(darwinism)? where the fittest only survives while all others perish? Could be....I dont know.....,But how can we overcome this problem( what people call the inequity), Communism??? No No No there is no clear proof that communism improved equity,Any other Ideology??? Nooo not at all...,so how about donations by foundation? ha ha ha.... thats the biggest sham, Its just a show off.....So whats the solution??? I was just pondering upon.......I posted this message on the Facebook with an end note saying " We have to do something to solve this problem", I left as one of my friends who is working in one of the biggest software firms called me up....,He said " whats this job...I am just copy ,pasting codes...I am doing the work of a Class X person for which i am paid so much....,after the phone call I returned back to my Lappy ,just pinged one of my long time friends who was a pass out from IIM C, he is an I-Banker,earning in lakhs,but still he was un happy.... I wondered why are these people Un happy??? Both are well paid!,Both earn in lakhs with families well settled....,Yea could be because of they havent found the passion,but my IIMC friend was very passionate about Finance...,so why? when is the person happy? when was he happy as a kid? When he assembled a puzzle? when he assembled a building block? Yes when he created something!!!!so why are they unhappy now?Because they have not used the fullest of their potential to create things...., So the old problem propped up on my head, how can the issue of inequity or poverty be solved?? When will this Maoist attacks,robbery ,murders end??? Can we overcome darwinism??? Yes! ,When the people I talked to,including me, work to the fullest of our potential, use our education, create things that will have the biggest social impact... It need not be a charitable one,or outrightly social,but some creation that will impact the life of the people,It could range from creation like Windows,Iphone to an ordinary light bulb!,Yes!, the problems of people that angadi theru talks about gives us so much opportunity for innovation ( CKPrahlad). It could be something like Grameen phone or Grameen Bank or even a small new water heater that is new and could impact the life of few people....This is what brings happiness into your life...Money will come automatically in crores once u create things...The happiness and beauty of creation is immeasurable,thats why u can see all Gods always happy!!!. So i returned back to FaceBook to see the comments that has been posted for my status,only one ,it asked me" wat v will do,Will you take the lead??" , I smiled , I wont lead you,I am selfish,I want a happy life,I will create my own.. to earn my own happiness... If you want a happy succesful life you should lead yourself to create something, if you want some one to lead that clearly shows that You are not selfish and you dont live your life but some one else's!!!!! Be Selfish Create Things........

Love and Creation

I was back to my home after my internship at Hyderabad. I landed at Coimbatore, after the scare of AI strike, and she came all the way from Madurai(350kms) to pick me up.She had been waiting at the airport for 2 hours.When I just walked out of my Airport, she was standing at the entrance with the big wide smile.She showed no remorse for waiting in the airport for 2 hours nor for travelling the arduous 350kms,but rather she was full of happiness.We walked into the car, I slept in her lap and we had a great chat all along the way till Madurai. When we reached home, he was waiting at the gate expecting our arrival. I stepped down and exchanged thousands of words through my eyes with him.He is the only person in the world who can understand me better than her.He is my best friend,my guide and my role model.From that instant, I have been experiencing love in its purest form.Love that no one can describe! Why do they love me so much? Why do they live for me? Why do they sacrifice their life for me? Obviously my brain comes out with the answer "Because you are their only son", so why do they love their son? because I am their creation!. So does creation foster love? Yes may be!, I am sure Steve Jobs loves the word apple more now, and Sergey loves 10^100 more now, why? because it is their creation.Their creation has close links with these words!. So how to foster this creation?( the question the entire Business community asks), I started thinking,I came back to my case again,how was i created?? Yes! its love,love between my mom and dad created me!, So?? "Love fosters creation and creation fosters love",its a chain reaction!. Sachin's love for cricket made him create so many world records,which in turn has increased his love for the Game. ARR's love for music made him create brilliant pieces of music which in turn has increased his love for music. So here arose a question to me, If love fosters creation, Would people create something if they fall in love with a girl/boy.( apart from the obvious one :)). Yes!,they will !, Pierre Omdiyar and his creation e-bay( he started it to help his lover trade Pez candy dispensers) is the best example.
So lets start falling in love with something and make this world a better place to live!.

PS: Written with little love so apologies for the rusty creation

The danger of reading history!!!!

Yes!!!, I am back to blogging , Like any other human , I too got bored of these philosophical stuffs. So whenever I planned to write some thing I felt it was substandard to be written here. However I felt today if i don't rekindle my passion for blogging I will lose my interest completely. So when I was thinking what to write,nothing sprang out of my mind as it usually does. I found it disgusting. I started thinking, why is this happening?? Has my 2 terms of IIM education(what people call a prestige) destroyed my creativity? Yes could be!!!, I have been much into philosophy for the past two terms, reading and discussing a lot of stuffs, but why am I blank?,no thoughts !!!,nothing!!!. So does education destroy creativity?? , and when i started thinking more deeply , why do people get educated? the answer that sprang up in my mind was 1. Money,Power&Prestige 2. Passion and building one's intellect. So how do people educate? Reading books and listening to lectures - In a nutshell by reading history of different subjects. Yes !!! we read history of different subjects to contribute to its history. But is the history true? No!!!,not certain, is there a particle called electron? could be or could not be, its just the interpretation of JJ Thompson, he was influenced by the history of Physics (people before him like J .Dalton) that made him discover electron and gain acceptance. The same applies to every field. Each of the greatly revered inventions are still hanging upon thousands of assumptions which has been loosely propagated by the hegemonic classes. So now why education? Yes Education is to learn the rules of these hegemonic classes, so say after learning the rules that these hegemonic classes have created a person X could add his own point to the history of the subject created by hegemonic classes and that person X would receive the Nobel/Abel/Fields medal created by these Hegemonic classes. Can Science progress like this??? No never. This is how our entire education system functions, In the name of fundamentals right from the school all human are conditioned to certain thoughts as per the societal demands. This creates a constraint in their thinking. Kids are given no marks if they write something other than that taught to them. People tend to forget there is no right or wrong , there are only interpretations!!!. So what now? what should be done? Thinking.......( lol,thats my next Business plan) . So coming back what has my IIM education taught me? yes it has taught me that this sort of thinking I have done now is called as post modernism!!!!